[essay] Thought i could just become a mother...

How do you think the work which our mother has done for us?? Do you know???

Who is your first?? you ? or your friend?? or your love..??

For mother ... the first person is you...

<Essay of WMSCOG>

“Thought I Could Just Become a Mother”

Just like the monsoon rain pouring during the hot summer, heart aching rain flows continuously in my heart.  My child is sick. 

I cannot raise my head up, thinking that it’s all my fault.

I thought I could just become a mother.

I thought being a mother was the easiest task.

That’s why I always wanted to become a mother.

Delivering a beautiful baby, raising, and educating well just like others; were my hope.

But in reality, it wasn’t easy at all.

Mother’s life was her child’s shadow.

Even when I wanted to eat something, my child was first.

Even when I wanted to do something, my child was always next to me.

Though I wanted to have a day off, there was a pile of laundry.

And I always had to be my child’s friend.

Mother was just a mother…

Though there is an exhausting, tiresome, disregarding day, the mother needed to follow after the child like his shadow.

I was really a foolish mother.

I didn’t notice that my child was sad, when he was.

I didn’t notice that my child was hurt, when he was.

I just thought my child would grow up on his own.

But that was just my wrong idea.

My child is always anxious…

He thirsts for love, just like when he gulps water in thirst.

As I didn’t notice, that was my fault.

From now on, I would become a true mother.

From now on, I will plant the existence of his mother in my child’s heart, and show him hope.

And for his mother, today is the day to be born again.

And for her child, today is the day to be born again.

I look up in the skies…

It’s a beautiful cloudless autumn sky, and cool wind enters my heart.

They are all gifts given by our Heavenly Mother.

“Cheer up my child, everything’s going to be all right. Cheer up.”

“Yes, Mother.”

I shout, “Animo, Animo!” aloud inside my heart.

Our Heavenly Mother always first looks after the child who is sick.

Our Heavenly Mother always first embraces the child who is having the hardest time.

Out Heavenly Mother always first embraces the most foolish child.

Just like how She did, I, a foolish mother, would also do likewise.

Just like how Heavenly Mother looked after our hearts, I would now like to consider my child’s heart.

Thinking of Heavenly Mother who is constantly praying in Her place, I would like to look after my child with Her heart.

I think of the day when my child and I am embracing in Her heart.

I thank Heavenly Mother for sending my child for me, a foolish mother.